Anniversary

My first for today is the first anniversary of my mother’s death. I’m really not sure how I was supposed to spend this day. I’m sure that sitting around mourning would not be productive or what my mom would have wanted. So I spent the day going thru life. Nothing was really different. I was a little rawer than normal. But that’s to be expected.
I felt like one of those games you find at a carnival. The game where you need to aim a water gun into a little whole and it makes the clown balloon fly up to the top. The whole point is to get to the top before every else does. And then you win a toy that was made in China by underpaid children who wouldn’t play with the toy even if they could afford it. And then you do it all over again. Same results the next time you play. But you learn a little more each time you play. Of course it’s rigged so you’ll never really win but you start to get more confidence in your ability to win if you just had enough opportunities to try.
One experience that happened today at work was a family coming in to the store trying to buy items for the memorial service they are having tomorrow. They were actually carrying around the ashes of their deceased family member. Carrying them around in a little plastic black box. I have the same black box at my house. We were able to bond thru death. They were very upbeat about the whole thing. They are planning on celebrating the life that she lived. Not the death that took her away. I will pray for them tomorrow. And I know that they will get thru it just like me.
I think that today was a great beginning of many years of Anniversary and I look forward to the ones that don’t involve so many tears.